Ken and Carrol spent most of a pre-marital counseling session arguing about who was right and wrong. It was not the first time they had asked the counselor to settle anargument and, in the process, lost track of the purpose of the counseling. Neither wanted to talkabout postponing the wedding, since firm plans and arrangements were in-place before thecounseling started. Pre-marital counseling was for them little more than a ritual. Soon, theydecided to skip further counseling and go right to the wedding.
People often seek advice or counsel, when they really only want agreement with decisionsthey have already made. Sometimes people only seek God's affirmation of decisions they havealready made. When this happens, God's truth and answers get buried beneath one's plans anddecisions. One can grow so accustomed to one's own words and arguments that one forgets theyare even talking to God, ... the creator of the universe and source of all truth and righteousness.
A true search for God's wisdom discards personal agendas and pre-determinedconclusions. Otherwise, pre-existing decision will prevent one from hearing God's answer (James1:5-8). One way to avoid seeking God's "opinion", is to commit one's minds and heart to obeyGod immediately, whatever his answer may be. God can turn a bad decision into a goodsituation for one who truly seeks him with an obedient, committed heart. Gradually, through theconfirmation of fruit, an obedient heart will learn to recognize God's voice.
Secondly, a real search for God's truth, demands a dilligent search of the scriptures. "We often error because we do not know the scriptures (Matt 22:29). God never contradicts orviolates his Word and promises. Even if one cannot locate a specific answer, the search will helpset one's minds on the things of God and their heart and ears on listening for God's answer.
Third, since men are unable to instruct God (I Cor. 2:16), one should not attempt tobalance or validate God's answer, with the counsel of men (2 Cor. 4:7). Many things seem rightto men, but contradict God's Word and truth and are thus, the lies of Satan. One can always findsomeone who will give them the answer one seeks, if they listen to enough people. One will onlyfind God's answer and truth, if one listens to God.
God has (and is) the answer to all questions, fears, and uncertainty. He earnestlydesires to provide the answers and truths we need to live righteously, in close relationship withhim. There is no uncertainty in God's truth; only in us -- God is not a man, that he should lie. Ifone only seeks opinions or affirmation of one's own truths and decisions, any source will do. Godoffers the right answer and truth for every need, but one must seek only his truth, with their heartfirmly committed to obey his answer. A person seeking only God's 'opinion' or affirmation isdouble-minded and unstable. They will receive nothing from God (Jas 1:5-8).
After six months, Ken and Carrol still argue over who is right and wrong in mostsituations. Serious pre-marital counseling may not have corrected or even prevented that, but itmay have given them some tools with which to deal with their problems. God uses faith as his'tool' in problems and circumstances in our lives, that are beyond our own understanding. Goodfruit comes from obedient faith, not rebellion. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and leannot on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your pathsstraight. (Prov 3:5-6 NIV) (#29)